A letter to my philosopher friend

One reason why I am so interested in people who are philosophers or are studying or have studied philosophy is to be able to complement my views on life with what they know or have learned.

For a period of about 15 years or so, starting in about 1978, I studied questions related to "being" and my being. I continue studying those, but not so intensely, since I do not find many who are interested in constructive, non-dogmatic exchange of ideas. My own studies started with reading, voracious reading of non-standard texts dealing with issues of interest to me (being, life). I began with C. Castaneda's series and continued on with F. Capra, and many others. I occasionally delved into Plato, Aristotle, Bible, Talmud, Bhagavad Gita , and Qur'an, and engaged some who knew more about those than I did in order to learn from them.

I did all that until I was able to form a simple understanding of "being" which mostly satisfied me. That understanding, while influenced by what I learned from the outside sources, has mostly come from my own questioning of propositions offered in standard sources and resolving their shortcomings. My understanding can easily be characterized as "simplistic" but it has, in its core, withstood many challenges.

I continue to expose my understanding of "being" to challenges in order to perhaps come up with even deeper understanding or to uncover any fallacies built into it so that I may make it more complete. All that is important to me so that I may see more clearly the purpose of my life.

Regrettably, not many people in this society so very busy with "doing" are either interested in fundamental questions of "being" or willing to devote their time to them. Academic world is too restrictive for me. I started a Ph.D. program (in Computer Science) twice only to leave both times, unable or unwilling to deal with formalities, the prescribed paths to knowledge. Without a Ph.D., one's work is not as valued or given credence and can not support one's academic life especially where one's continuing existence in it is measured mostly by how much resources in form of grants one can bring to the institution. Even while I was in it, I could never qualify as a PI on any grant proposals - so I left.

I resort to engaging friends, like you, who at least have formal background, possibly indicating their interest, in studying questions of "being" in order to help me unravel my own ball of strings further. This can be a treacherous road for both since I thrive on asking questions and listening to answers. Many misunderstand my questions as challenges of their knowledge and easily get defensive. I know I am ignorant in many ways and wish to lift that veil of ignorance with a little help from my friends.

That's where those many questions come from - my thirst to understand life as seen by you (and others). As a matter of routine, I often try to imagine what life must be like living in someone else's skin. Each one of us is stuck with our own skin, which helps mold our view of life. It is endlessly fascinating to me to leave my own skin temporarily, even if only in my imagination, and taste other people's skins.

That's why I'd want to know about your childhood, for example. All those many little, seemingly irrelevant moments inevitably grow into pebbles of one's own life mosaic. The path that lead to your taking vows. Your eldest-child responsibilities, self-imposed or otherwise. All those are very uniquely yours, but also so utterly human thus contributing to what we call "human experience."