Wednesday, December 26, 2007

New relationships

New relationships at this age seem to be tricky propositions.

First, there are so few interesting people around who are available and interested in broadening their circle of friends, not to speak of potential special/romantic relationship.

Than, I seem to be getting more and more picky in my choices and tastes. And, on top of that, I do not have much patience for superficial communications, for fluff. So, if I see someone even marginally interesting, I delve into personal stuff quickly. I really want to know about the person before establishing any sort of relationship.

Unfortunately, I get intense in this process of getting to know each other which scares most people away. By intense, I mean I do not play games, I ask questions, personal questions and am ready to share as well.

Sometimes I misread the clues of someone being just polite with me for being actually open to exploring.

As a result, I spend lots of time by myself. There are days when I do not speak with anyone the whole day. My work is such that I do not interact with others, other than perhaps electronically.

And, it's not that I feel I need or even desire company all the time, but, there are times when I'd like to share what comes to my mind with someone who is really interested in knowing what goes on inside of me. And that is so rare that I feel I will live my whole life without anyone really knowing me.

Also, I am a playful kind. I like playing, physically playing or goofing around verbally. I like smart-ass-ness in me and in others.

Maybe, that is not so unique. Perhaps, there are many people out there like me. How do I know?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This post resonated with me. I'm happy that you found Elke. I tend towards intensity as well, and eagerly delve into more personal questions and discussions. I've been told this is "scary" and intimidating. How few people seem to possess the willingness to be vulnerable with another and thus cultivate a deep intimacy together.
It also seems rare to find introspective deep thinker....people with substance.

DK said...

So true, so true. Vulnerability, openness, love, intimacy, honesty, loyalty, surrendering, letting go, feel, feel, feel, share. Anything else?