Sings of age

I got a shocker the other evening reading an on-line news publication from Croatia - a former Miss Yugoslavia committed suicide - she was 62. Well, this particular lady, Ms. Nikica Marinovic, was Miss (former) Yugoslavia in 1966 and became first runner-up at Miss World that year. She was born and grew up in Dubrovnik.

Later on that year, we had our high school prom and Ms. Marinovic was invited. She came with her boyfriend who was a drummer in a local rock band and was controlling her every step.

At some point during the ball I got this crazy idea that I wanted to dance with her - she had not danced up to that point at all. I did not even dream that that would be possible given who she was, who I was, and given her eagle boyfriend. I went to their table and asked her to dance and she agreed!! So, I danced with Miss Yugoslavia. My friends did not let me off the hook for that one ever. And now she is dead! Hmmm.

P.S. In preparation for that prom, my mother gave me my very first ever lesson in Tango. Earlier that year I danced to the first tango I remember ever - Tango Delle Rose.

last day of 2007

When I posted that previous note about a letter to my philosopher friend, it was early morning on "Silvestrovo" - last day of 2007. Little did I know how wonderful that day was going to be. I spent the morning with my two friends who stayed with me, visiting from Sarajevo, walked over to the local healthy foods store/restaurant to have a midday meal and ran into the woman who had given me her young love and took my passionate heart with her earlier in the year, spent the afternoon with the other very special woman in my life, and tangoed the year away that evening with my friends. What a day! What a year! Life goes on! No second show!

New relationships

New relationships at this age seem to be tricky propositions.

First, there are so few interesting people around who are available and interested in broadening their circle of friends, not to speak of potential special/romantic relationship.

Than, I seem to be getting more and more picky in my choices and tastes. And, on top of that, I do not have much patience for superficial communications, for fluff. So, if I see someone even marginally interesting, I delve into personal stuff quickly. I really want to know about the person before establishing any sort of relationship.

Unfortunately, I get intense in this process of getting to know each other which scares most people away. By intense, I mean I do not play games, I ask questions, personal questions and am ready to share as well.

Sometimes I misread the clues of someone being just polite with me for being actually open to exploring.

As a result, I spend lots of time by myself. There are days when I do not speak with anyone the whole day. My work is such that I do not interact with others, other than perhaps electronically.

And, it's not that I feel I need or even desire company all the time, but, there are times when I'd like to share what comes to my mind with someone who is really interested in knowing what goes on inside of me. And that is so rare that I feel I will live my whole life without anyone really knowing me.

Also, I am a playful kind. I like playing, physically playing or goofing around verbally. I like smart-ass-ness in me and in others.

Maybe, that is not so unique. Perhaps, there are many people out there like me. How do I know?