Thoughts on this sixth day of January, 2018

Three thoughts have been occupying my mind today:

women I made love with
environment and children
police are workers too

What's going on? Well, about this time 50 years ago I had my first experience of sexual intimacy with a women. That made me think of all the women I experienced (physical) love making with and I started innocently making a list of their names. When the list was finished (I kept it and looked at it over and over, sort of shocked) I started feeling ashamed because the list was quite long (I did some research and found out that it was many times longer than the average). I felt ashamed because I evidently went through life "scoring" without much loving, without really committing myself to a loving relationship. What also made me go through this was the fact that at this advanced age of mine I believe I found a loving woman (and she found me) with whom things are different giving me a hope that I too can commit to a loving relationship that lasts.

Then I saw a part of a documentary about the changing environment and humans' impact on that change. One of the central themes was, as usual, the grief about what sort of a world we are leaving for our descendants. While it is true that we are having an impact on the environment that may lead to our extinction or at least to leaving the world to our descendants that will be by far more difficult to live in than our own, that process is a natural one since we too are part of the nature and are not needed as such for life in general to continue. What's more, does life need to continue? Will it continue? Should it continue? Also, if we do not want our children to have hard time, then why just not have children at all?

I also saw for the umpteenth time some images of some demonstrators somewhere being beaten up by police or security force. And it occurred to me once more how sad it is to see people, who for all practical purposes should be on the same "side" of the issue, fight each other as if their interests are somehow in contradiction. How easy it is for us to be mislead about things that are really important and to follow some false prophets.

So, that's what was on my mind today.