Marches of my youth

Almost nine years old, in the early Spring of 1958, my father taught me, along with 12 or 13 other youngsters, music. We were learning to play various instruments in a marching band in my hometown Dubrovnik, "Gradska Mužika." A month or two later we joined the band. I played an alt horn and loved it.

For the next nine years I enthusiastically played in that band. We marched, we held concerts playing various opera potpourris and overtures, fantasies, we visited neighboring towns, it was a lot of fun. As a 14-year old I "graduated" to play a solo baritone horn (euphonium). Playing music was an outlet for me for my otherwise troubled young life.

My favorite marches to play then were "Sveti Lovro" (San Lorenzo) and "Stari Drugovi" (Alten Kameraden). Little did I know of the connection those two marches would have to my later life when as a 50-year old I renewed my love of Argentine Tango and now I live in Berlin, Germany.

Steppenwolf

One of my goals in learning German is to read Herman Hesse in German. In preparation, I have started to reread some of his books in English so that I am not totally lost and can understand the original in context. So, I have now reread Siddhartha and The Journey to the East and am currently rereading Steppenwolf. When I am done with it I will proceed with the German edition.

However, a few paragraphs from Steppenwolf have really got my attention enough, as they expose Hesse's thoughts on the nature of human folly, so that I want to share them here (embolden emphases is mine). 

First a detail:

The judge who sits over the murderer and looks into his face, and at one moment recognizes all the emotions and potentialities and possibilities of the murderer in his own soul and hears the murderer's voice as his own, is at the next moment one and indivisible as the judge, and scuttles back into the shell of his cultivated self and does his duty and condemns the murderer to death.

Then in the context:

Man is not capable of thought in any high degree, and even the most spiritual and highly cultivated of men habitually sees the world and himself through the lenses of delusive formulas and artless simplifications-and most of all himself. For it appears to be an inborn and imperative need of all men to regard the self as a unit. However often and however grievously this illusion is shattered, it always mends again. The judge who sits over the murderer and looks into his face, and at one moment recognizes all the emotions and potentialities and possibilities of the murderer in his own soul and hears the murderer's voice as his own, is at the next moment one and indivisible as the judge, and scuttles back into the shell of his cultivated self and does his duty and condemns the murderer to death. And if ever the suspicion of their manifold being dawns upon men of unusual powers and of unusually delicate perceptions, so that, as all genius must, they break through the illusion of the unity of the personality and perceive that the self is made up of a bundle of selves, they have only to say so and at once the majority puts them under lock and key, calls science to aid, establishes schizomania and protects humanity from the necessity of hearing the cry of truth from the lips of these unfortunate persons. Why then waste words, why utter a thing that every thinking man accepts as self-evident, when the mere utterance of it is a breach of taste? A man, therefore, who gets so far as making the supposed unity of the self two-fold is already almost a genius, in any case a most exceptional and interesting person. In reality, however, every ego, so far from being a unity is in the highest degree a manifold world, a constellated heaven, a chaos of forms, of states and stages, of inheritances and potentialities. It appears to be a necessity as imperative as eating and breathing for everyone to be forced to regard this chaos as a unity and to speak of his ego as though it were a one-fold and clearly detached and fixed phenomenon. Even the best of us shares the delusion.  

The delusion rests simply upon a false analogy. As a body everyone is single, as a soul never. In literature, too, even in its ultimate achievement, we find this customary concern with apparently whole and single personalities. Of all literature up to our days the drama has been the most highly prized by writers and critics, and rightly, since it offers (or might offer) the greatest possibilities of representing the ego as a manifold entity, but for the optical illusion which makes us believe that the characters of the play are one-fold entities by lodging each one in an undeniable body, singly, separately and once and for all. An artless esthetic criticism, then, keeps its highest praise for this so-called character-drama in which each character makes his appearance unmistakably as a separate and single entity. Only from afar and by degrees the suspicion dawns here and there that all this is perhaps a cheap and superficial esthetic philosophy, and that we make a mistake in attributing to our great dramatists those magnificent conceptions of beauty that come to us from antiquity. These conceptions are not native to us, but are merely picked up at second hand, and it is in them, with their common source in the visible body, that the origin of the fiction of an ego, an individual, is really to be found.